How to tell if your friends don't like you?

Friendships are meant to provide emotional support, trust, and a sense of belonging. However, not all friendships are built on genuine feelings, and sometimes, it can be difficult to determine if your friends genuinely like you or if the friendship has started to become unhealthy. If you're feeling unsure or anxious about the state of your friendships, there are several signs that may indicate your friends are no longer invested in your relationship. Here are key indicators to help you understand if your friends don’t like you anymore.

1. They Don’t Make Effort to Spend Time with You

A true friend will make an effort to spend time with you and prioritize your friendship. If your friends are consistently making excuses not to hang out or ignoring your attempts to make plans, it could be a sign that they no longer value your company.

Signs of this behavior:

They cancel plans last minute or always seem too busy to spend time with you.
They never initiate plans or make no effort to include you in their activities.
When you suggest hanging out, they offer excuses or give non-committal answers.

What You Can Do:

Reflect on whether this behavior is a pattern. A true friend will make an effort to see you, even if they are busy.
If they seem uninterested in making time for you, it may be worth having an open conversation about it.

2. They Are Distant and Avoidant

If your friends are distancing themselves emotionally or avoiding communication altogether, it could be an indication that something is wrong. A healthy friendship involves open communication, shared experiences, and a sense of emotional closeness.

Signs of this behavior:

They no longer share personal details or confide in you as they once did.
They take longer to respond to your texts or calls, or they may even leave you on read.
You notice that they seem emotionally distant or uninterested in your conversations.

What You Can Do:

Notice if your friends are opening up less or withdrawing from conversations. If this is happening, consider discussing how you're feeling with them.
Sometimes people become distant for various reasons, such as personal issues or misunderstandings. Try addressing the situation directly to gain clarity.

3. They Don’t Support Your Achievements

True friends celebrate each other's successes and provide support in both good times and bad. If your friends seem indifferent, dismissive, or even jealous of your accomplishments, this may indicate a lack of genuine affection for you.

Signs of this behavior:

When you share good news, they don’t respond with enthusiasm or excitement.
They act indifferent or make passive-aggressive remarks about your achievements.
They downplay your successes or try to outdo you by focusing on their own accomplishments.

What You Can Do:

Pay attention to how they react to your milestones. If they are not supportive or dismissive, it’s important to evaluate whether the friendship is based on mutual respect and happiness.
A lack of celebration or support may indicate underlying resentment or discomfort.

4. They Talk Behind Your Back

One of the clearest signs that your friends don’t like you is if they talk about you behind your back. A true friend would never spread rumors or gossip about you to others, especially when they can address concerns directly with you.

Signs of this behavior:

You hear from other people that your friends have been speaking negatively about you.
They gossip about your personal life or make hurtful comments when you're not around.
You notice that they act differently when you’re present versus when you’re absent.

What You Can Do:

Trust your instincts. If you hear negative things about you from others, it may be worth addressing it directly with your friends.
If you feel betrayed, confront them calmly and express how their behavior has affected you. Open communication is key to resolving misunderstandings or hurt feelings.

5. They Criticize or Put You Down Regularly

A friend who frequently criticizes or puts you down is not behaving in a supportive way. While constructive criticism is part of any relationship, constant negativity or belittling can be a sign of underlying discontent or even passive-aggressive behavior.

Signs of this behavior:

They make rude or hurtful comments, often disguised as jokes or “advice.”
They focus on your flaws or imperfections and make you feel inadequate.
They rarely offer encouragement or compliments, but instead, offer harsh critiques.

What You Can Do:

If you feel consistently criticized, it’s essential to communicate how their words affect you. A good friend should care about your feelings and try to be supportive.
Be direct about how their comments make you feel, and see how they respond. If they dismiss your feelings or continue with hurtful behavior, you may need to reconsider the friendship.

6. They Only Reach Out When They Need Something

If your friends only contact you when they need help or support, and rarely check in just to catch up, this can indicate a one-sided relationship. Healthy friendships are reciprocal, with both people offering support, time, and care when needed.

Signs of this behavior:

They call or text only when they need a favor, advice, or assistance.
You don’t hear from them unless they are seeking something from you, like a ride, money, or emotional support.
They don’t seem interested in offering support or help when you’re going through tough times.

What You Can Do:

Evaluate if the friendship feels balanced. True friendships are mutual, where both parties give and receive equally.
If they only reach out when it benefits them, you might want to reassess whether this is a friendship that brings positivity to your life.

7. They Are Competitive or Jealous

Competition in friendships is normal to some extent, but when a friend is constantly trying to one-up you or acts jealous of your achievements, it’s a red flag. Healthy friendships involve mutual support, not rivalry.

Signs of this behavior:

They seem threatened by your successes and try to undermine them.
They act jealous when you spend time with other people or get attention.
They often compare themselves to you and feel the need to compete for praise or attention.

What You Can Do:

Notice if your friend is consistently trying to outdo you or shows signs of envy. A friend who values you should be happy for your successes and supportive, not competitive.
Talk to them if you feel that their jealousy is affecting the friendship, and try to establish healthier dynamics.

8. They Ignore or Avoid You in Group Settings

If your friends tend to ignore you or avoid you when in a group, it can be a sign that they may not like you as much as you thought. This behavior can indicate exclusion or an unwillingness to connect in social settings.

Signs of this behavior:

They often leave you out of conversations or activities, especially when with a group of people.
They seem to avoid eye contact or make no effort to engage with you in social settings.
They spend time with others but exclude you, either unintentionally or purposefully.

What You Can Do:

Notice if there is a pattern of exclusion or avoidance. Sometimes, people act differently in group settings, but if this happens consistently, it could be a sign of disinterest.
If this behavior bothers you, consider discussing it with your friend and ask for clarification about their actions.

Conclusion

Friendships are built on mutual respect, support, and trust. If you notice signs that your friends are becoming distant, critical, or uninterested in your well-being, it may be time to reflect on the quality of the relationship. While friendships can go through rough patches, consistent negative behavior is a warning sign that the connection may no longer be healthy or genuine. If you feel like your friends don’t like you, it’s important to communicate your feelings openly and honestly, and if necessary, reconsider the friendships that are no longer serving you in a positive way.